welcome
March 14th, 2024
March 5th, 2024

Everytime I think, 'Man, Vocaloid, Miku and v.synths have been around since the start of the internet, how have some people who've been around for so long still not know how it works', especially with people confusing synths for pure AI bullshit as of late, but I usually always kill those thoughts with a simple 'Not everyone's gonna know, not everyone wants to know, it's still a niche-ish community, and like, everyone was new to something they liked once.' But yesterday I came to the realization that it's very similar to Touhou in the sense it's been on internet for a long time, but I'm not sure many people are familiar with the game outside of Bad Apple, its insane difficultly, and all the uniquely designed characters. These are two niche communities of people who have made it kinda their thing to be very into the thing they like, and I find that really interesting and funny how, even in the beginning, they seemed to overlap. The first Vocaloid song uploaded to Niconico was a Touhou doujin song cover.

Feburary 29th, 2024

Can't a guy just look out from a slightly damp veranda at the pink sunrise cutting through the dreary fog and realize that there's something going on here he should stick around for

Feburary 15th, 2024

I saw a Hostess double chocolate muffin packaged ass backward at work other day. Like, completely fucked up. Straight backward. I dunno I just wanted to share that. I think it's a little funny

January 12th, 2024

Content warning for mentions of depression.

Attempting to relax at the moment, haha. After owning the game for around seven or eight years now (which feels, so weird to say!) I just now learned that Project Mirai DX has a Super Hard mode? I was playing the game in attempt to get my mind off of my incessant urge to make things as a way to just accept its okay to do other hobbies and vibe, right, and I was getting really into it, replaying the song Romeo and Cinderella on Hard with Rin over and over. After trying my last time and utterly failing on a run of Watashi no Jikan on Hard, I decide to stop playing for the night and go to bed. But right before I do, Gumi stops by and is all like "Do you know some songs have a SuPEr hard mode???????? :) It's to the right of the right!" and I was like

what

A part of me wanted to believe it was a joke or a prank. Like, I couldn't believe it. Something the devs put in to keep players looking around for some reason or another, but no. Like, you can really unlock a Super Hard mode. I don't know why I'm so shocked by this, but I am, haha. I fucking sucked on Romeo and Cinderella's SH though, on my gosh, it was terrible. Genuinely could barely even make it that far.

As a final note, I love how nice Project Mirai DX's songs are. The room themes are all either so catchy or nostalgic for me now. It's such a massive comfort game for me now, and the level of focus required to actually make a good score makes it a good way to not only took a step back from all my 500 billion projects but just relax and get my mind off of all my other stressors. The way I work, constantly running around and being on my feet has never been nice on my body for as much as I genuinely do love the work, so having a way to just relax and chill out for even just a couple of minutes in the comfort of my own home is nice. I can't believe Vocaloid is turning 20 years old this March. It's weird. These characters are ever-changing, yet still the same, while I find myself aging, growing, finding myself in stages of life I honestly never thought I'd get to. When I was a teenager, not mad at the world but moreso just mad at myself thinking I truly an issue no less than a germ to be avoided and scrubbed clean of, I never thought I'd ever make it past 18. It feels weird being older than Miku, now. It feels weird watching Vocaloid itself, as a program, about to hit the big 2-0 behind me. And this is really just all me being fucking sentimental as shit, lmao, I didn't really mean for this post to take this turn when I started writing it. But I'm happy I made it past 18. I definitely don't have it all figured out - by all means, I don't - but I'm glad that I can look back at the person I used to be and know that she wouldn't even recognize the person staring back at her; that she'd be so relieved to know that someday it would be better (although not immediately, as much as she desperately wanted it to be). One thing's still for certain, though. There ain't no way her future ass has beaten Matroyshyka on hard mode oh ym god LMAOOOO OOOO O O I'M SORRYYYY GIRL YOU SHIT OUTTA LUCK THAT SONG'S A BITCH AAAAA HA AAA LMAOSFDOIMSFDOIMSFD

But there's comfort. I've found happiness here, somewhere. Not just in Vocaloid, not in general, no, lmao, but just. I've found it easier to chisel out bits and pieces of happiness in life. And I feel like if that's what I need to do to make it another seven or eight years, then I really want to keep doing it. :>

January 3rd, 2024

We blogging now? We blogging???

We're blogging now! That's right!! Here's where I'm gonna just, spew my thoughts out to the void that may or may not be related to any other topics I've talked about previously. I've always had a terrible habit of like, talking incessantly to my friends just without them ever asking me because a thought is just gnawing in my brain so so hard and it's like, I gotta get this thought out. Now and so I start typing a million words per minute to this poor innocent soul on the other end like I'm boutta absolutely fucking verbally demolish their DMs about this random thing I've just got obsessed over. And so anyways, inspired by my super cool friend Brie Bonsqueak's personal blog, I'm making my own little corner to ramble my thoughts in! I'm verbally bludgeoning you all now (in a friendly way!! No pain!!)

Anyway, New Years came and went for me. Nothing much really happened. Went to bed a lot earlier than I would've liked. But for this year I have a lot of big plans. Just like what I said last year...........and the last..........

But basically, I've got a couple of New Years resolutions, BUT I'm gonna try, and be smart about it by focusing on one goal at a time! All of these goals I'm sharing are creatively related of course; I've got more but like, they're boring lmao. So.

Here it is